I didn't put this on FB because alot of my co-workers are on there but last week me, my sister Kathy & my niece Carrie went to Savannah, GA for a few days.
The Desoto is a very old hotel built back in the 1800's but recently underwnt a million + renovation.
The beds and bathroom were superb.
We stayed on the 9th floor overlooking the pool which was on the roof of the 2nd floor wing and also overlooking Madison Square (ironic no?)
This hotel even had something I have never saw before, a 13th floor!
When we first got in the room the bellcap was unloading our bags and I jokingly asked him if the hotel had any hauntings he said "Oh yes" but could not stay and talk because it was a busy time.
So camera in tow off we beat it up to the 13th floor where we found.... room 1313!
Whoo you couldn't pay me to stay in that one!
I told Kathy & Carrie as we were walking down the long murky hallway if I heard "Redrum" it was cut and run - every woman for herself!
I'll tell you some of the touristy stuff we did in another post this week but the next morning Carrie said "I heard the water in the bathroom turn on and off and when I went in there I SAW the faucet turn on then off".
We just sort of ha-ha'd at her like "Yeah right" (because we had taken the Ghosts & Gravestones Tour -which sucked).
The 2nd night I woke up a little after 1 and I heard the water turn on, run in the sink then shut off after a few seconds. I felt the hair rise up on my head.
The way the sink worked this could not happen accidently. No way. I laid there facing the wall thinking if I see something I am going to just die.
Then Kathy said "Did you hear it? The faucet" I said "Yes" and turned over to face her & Carrie who Thank God were awake.
I made Kathy walk me to the bathroom & turn on the light (don't judge!) then I  took a pill to make myself go to sleep.
The next morning Kathy said "Oh you missed it, the faucet kept going on and off, it took the cap off of your Coke and put it back on right in front of us and it was tapping around the room".
They were all excited. All I could think was "Thank God we are getting the hell out of here today".
So.......... if you want to go to Savannah and stay in a haunted room. Room 920 at the Desoto Hilton.
I can vouch for it personally!
~The~Monogram~Queen~

It's been a l-o-n-g time since I have blogged. Part of it was a job change and the unavailable time during working hours to blog anymore. It got hard to blog at home too because Stacy would give me crap for being on the internet but that seems to have gotten better.
Part of it, too was the loss of my Mother January 25, 2010. That knocked the socks off of me and has changed my life forever.

Alot of you I still communicate with via F@cebook which is nice. I love FB but it's not the same as blogging. Blogging is so much more in-depth. It has always been theraputic for me.

I am trying Tw!tter also but that is just not really working out well with me. I like FB so much more and I can FB from my Blackberry so Tw!tter is really redundant for me but i'm on there so.......

Well let's see what has been going on in my life since August 2010 when I last blogged.
It would be impossible for me to re-cap and as I said alot of you are my FB friends and know so i'll just write about what is going on with me lately.

I had a complete hysterectomy on March 16,2011. It has been sort of rough going recovering, I have some really tired days but I have thoroughly enjoyed it. So much so that I am really starting to stress about going back to work. Don't get me wrong, I am VERY thankful to have had six weeks off of work WITH 100% pay but I have loved having the freedom and time with Madison and popping into her school etc. I have come to the realization despite all the big talk when I got pregnant that I would LOVE to be a stay-at-home Mom. However we now have some financial obligations that make it pretty impossible to be a one-income family but I am a believer of miracles and do not doubt the power of God so if it is in His plan, it will happen for me.

Speaking of God, there has been a significant event on that front also. After much hard thinking I decided to give up practicing the Episcopal Faith and started going to a Baptist Church. WITH the blessing of Father Andrew who concurred that Stacy would probably be more comfortable and get more from a Baptist Church. He was a good sport, God love him but he did struggle with weekly communion and with switching back and forth between the Bible and the Book of Common Prayer. We visited an old country church a few miles from our house, Mechanicsville Baptist in November 2010 and after visiting for a few months decided to join in January 2011 and myself,Stacy & Madison were all baptized into the Church.
If any of you know me you know I have always been a spiritual person who pretty much mocked the whole Bible beating thing but I must say I am learning a thing or two from Pastor Frankie's sermons. I love Pastor Frankie because he is all about the positive and really helps people. I can honestly say that if any one of you called him on the phone, said you had broke down on the Interstate and didn't have any money he would be right there to pick you up, get you fed & sheletered and would see about helping you get your car repaired and getting you back on the road. The man is not about the money and he is about as real as real can be. He doesn't nag about attendance, he doesn't do altar call where he peer pressures people into being saved, he doesn't preach hell and damnation but focuses on God's love. There are a few people in the Church who get all 'happy' and throw their hands up during the sermon etc. (and I always have to fight back the giggles) but hey they worship in their way and i'll worship in mine sitting in the back against the wall. (Yeah i'm one of THOSE "back-row Baptists" LOL).

Anyway that is what is going on with me lately. I hope I can make blogging an at least weekly event :)
Oh and wishing my precious Sister-In-Law Buffy Tindal a very Happy Birthday today!

~The Monogram Queen~

Today I am thankful for.......


My Job.... - Although I can't say I like it, I am not miserable anymore and it pays the bills!

That my husband and best friend like each other so much and get along so well. We can make each other laugh like crazy!

That my child (although smart-mouthed) is a healthy, normal outgoing child. So many aren't.
Yes, I know some weird kids!

The sunshine. Even though it's hot as hades (heat index today 114) the sun still feels so warm and good.

My Car. I know it's a sin to covet possessions but it's too late for me. I love that car. Love it! I wanted one for so long and really never expected to take the leap to get it. Here's to leaping!!!!

May your hearts leap and your spirits soar today!

I've got LOTS to do at work this week before I go on Vacation next week but I will try to blog and if I don't get around to commenting I WILL get caught up on you all eventually :)

I had a really REALLY good week-end!

Saturday Stacy changed the oil, air filter and oil filter in my car and filled it up with gas!
Then Mindy came over and we had a few 'cocktails' and just had the most fun laughing & stuff. Stacy is a patient, patient man!

We took my Dad to Sunday lunch at Jewels on the Square (down home southern cooking so good it'll make your tongue slap your brains out!).
Madison wanted to go home with "Pop" so she did and Stacy and I had some VERY nice 'alone time'.

Then I went and picked her up and we went to Belk where I got the most awesome bathing suit (Stacy bought it for me). I can attest - a flattering bathing suit does exist after 40 ladies! I feel like a million bucks in this one!

True Blood was `a`w`e`s`o`m`e last night~

..........and we're getting a Pontoon Boat! Hopefully the deal will be done today and we can pick up the boat tomorrow.

Dear Co-Workers: It is not a smart idea to irritate me with your petty bovine feces when I am out of my crazy pills and would like nothing more than to jump up and down on your neck.

To my neighborhood pharmacist. If I go up there for one of my crazy pill scripts (that would be the one that does NOT cost almost $300). After our long discussion on the phone. If said script is not ready we will definitely be in next Wednesdays edition of the News and Press because hell hath no fury like a crazy woman who needs her crazy pills and is led around in circles while trying to get them.


****UPDATED TO ADD***** I got all of my medications yesterday (very surprisingly) but my Pharm went above and beyond so that went well. I had this crazy rant typed before I left work yesterday but I still wouldn't mind standing on a few co-workers necks


To our QA Dept - Why is there no across-the-board rules for how you do your jobs? Why do some of you seem to find joy in making other peoples jobs way effing more harder than they have to be? I am beyond tired of hearing complaint after complaint afteer complaint about you.

To my fellow racefans at FMS - I will be there this Friday - oh yes I will.
I can promise you that if someone even so much as makes an eyeball twitch toward Raef I will rip off your head and drop kick it across the track.

I am in dire need of my vacation which will happily commence next Saturday, June 19th and am suffering no fools in the meantime.
Except those who are related to my by blood or marriage :)

As most of you know, I lost my precious Mamma on January 25 of this year.

Still having a hard time dealing. Her ashes are in a beautiful urn at my Dad's. He says it brings him comfort having her there with him.
It doesn't do a thing for me.
I know he talks to 'her' alot.
I tried it and only felt like a retard talking to a box.
No connection, no 'feeling her' at all :(

Sometimes when I am busy and in the daily routine I am fine.
Then some pictures will pop up on my computer and it is like a shock remembering all over again that she's not here. She's just not here.

I won't - can't - let myself fully think about her. She'll come into my mind and I quickly push the thought away. Too painful. Cannot face it full on. Not yet.

It's been especially hard these past two weeks but I know it's because of the milestones in Maddie's life. Her 4K graduation. Her dance recital. Mom really love that Maddie was taking dance. She would have loved those tap steps.

I still think about when we took Madison to the hospital that Sunday. Mom's big smile and telling the Nurse that I was HER baby and that Maddie is MY baby. Her youngest grandchild, all of the others are in their 20"s and older.

Lord that woman got a kick out of Madison, the things she says and does. She will miss so much now. She'll never see her start 'big school'. Never saw her play a ballgame. (but I can hear her yelling "Go Maddie"!),

Okay I am making myself super sad and those thoughts are really flitting around so time to shoo them away and go find something to do.

~Monogram Queen

Stacy has his annual fishing trip to Santee with the guys so me, Mindy & Madison wanted to find something to do - a girls getaway.
Although it's Memorial Day Week-End a.k.a. the official start of summer AND Black Bike Week at the beach I snagged this gorgeous condo (I hope the link works).

http://www.vacationrentals.com/vacation-rentals/59842.html?cid=E_owner-inquiry_DB_O_20100526_prop%20pg_text_LPROP

I plan to do alot of relaxing by the pool. Reilly is even welcome! I just hope he doesn't get eaten by an alligator.
There are two adjacent golf courses and I can't tell you the number of times a gator has been spotted on 'the back 9'.
I saw many myself when I used to play with and caddy for my dad.
Gators LOVE dogs. Seriously.
Many a small dog has vanished at Hilton Head but you know I will keep a super sharp eye on my baby and if there is a body of water besides the pool in our vicinity he will probably stay inside unless I am walking him to take a potty break.

I wonder if Madison realizes or will realize when she gets older what a lucky little girl she is. To be so young she has already been on some great vacations and spent alot of time at the beach etc. I hope when she's 12 we get to go to Europe.
We are aiming on a Disney themed Cruise for our vacation next year so i'd say she is pretty darn lucky!

Everyone have a safe and fabulous week-end!!!!

My girl's got flair! (we weren't really supposed to take pics so I did not have the camera on the best setting)

They really had some intricate moves this year. I was VERY impressed with how much she's improved!

Yes that's Maddie with her back to the audience and me & Stacy dancing as the "New Years Eve" Ball drops! We were the only parents who would do it. Seriously, those people suck.

The theme was a reason for all seasons. Stacy ended up the show playing the Old Man With The Bag (seriously that is the song that was playing)! Bwaa haa haaa!!!

Stacy and the girls
Me & Graceson

I only do these Public Service Announcements for the 'greater good' (of my sanity)

so here goes:

1) To the Beeyotch driving the Impala that absolutely positively HAS to park beside me.
We arrive at basically the same time every day, you know the drill.
The next time you nonchalantly get out and leave your door hanging open for 3 minutes, making it impossible for me to park.... Well let's just say you might be driving a 3 door car in the very near future.

2) To the witch-who-just-moved-here-from-CA and REALLY believes her own HYPE.
Lady, we don't give a shit how you did it in California.
I guarantee you if you keep talking to your people the way you did yesterday. Very LOUDLY and PUBLICLY that you are going to have a turn-over rate of mass proportions that upper management is not going to be smiling about - as they pride themselves on their employee retention.

3) To "Pugsley Addams". Go find Thing and play with him. I am not your buddy. I am not your pal. Go Away.

4) To Nutcase Friend.
You really REALLY need to grow up.
You are 47 years old. A wee bit too old to be crying at your desk because someone didn't say good morning to you.
I am not the hand holding type and am quickly running out of patience with you.

5) To my lazy white trash mail lady.
The next time you roll up in my drive-way and drop my package out the window onto the walk-way, instead of walking it up the steps and propping it by the door like you are supposed to.
You will be getting a nasty surprise when you open my mailbox. Seriously.

Okay I think this does it. For now......... :)

Yeah I suck - these are the only pictures I got. I got alot of video but lost it somehow. I'm definitely electronically challenged :(

She is such a cheeseball LOL My SIL Buffy got alot of pics so hopefully I will have those soon. It was a great night, she was so proud and we were too. She did a solo reading had to do a presentation of 'her' state which was Tennessee. She was loud and proud!

Yes, my little dancer is also playing T-Ball.
Y'all - she is GOOD. She pays attention and really hustles out there.
She is playing the position of pitcher and she will run those boys DOWN. It's a hoot!





Madison is winding up her third year of Dance. Her recital is on the 25th of this month. I really liked her costume this year.

Hmmmm maybe I just might be entering the blogging world again. As long as I keep things within realm at work that is.

For all of my belly-aching and moaning about work i've found that following the death of my Mom (it still feels SO weird and alien to type those words) it really doesn't matter much at all.

Work is work is work. They pretty much leave me alone and that is the way I like it. I had a new boss for a hot minute but then they did a scramble and I had my old one back again.
She's crazy (and not in a 'good' way) but she is very understanding and easy to work with. You just have to ignore the crazy! LOL

I mentioned Bella came to visit me last week-end, now Madison wants very much to ride a plane somewhere.
I've got to get to work on that somehow.
Just for a long week-end or something. I'd love to do something over the long Memorial Day Week-end since I have that Monday off but we are going to Oak Island the week of June 19-26 so I don't know if I have several hundred dollars to spare to fly somewhere. We'll see.
I'm all about enjoying life these days and seizing the moment.
Watching my Mom die suddenly put things in perspective for me.
Don't save it for a rainy day people, take it out and enjoy it NOW.
Because that rainy day ...... may never come for you.
(((HUGS)))
~The~Monogram~Queen~

Just popping in to say that all is okay in my world right now.
Still missing my Mom, but it gets easier.
I am super excited about fellow bloggers daisy & man tying the knot. Now I want them to come down south so we can celebrate!!! *hint* *hint*
Had a great visit with Bella - got a piercing. That's right, uh-huh i'm hardcore (not!)
When I am able to put the other jewelry in and take this mess that they pierced it with out I will put up a pic. Pinky Promise! Madison watched me get pierced and boy did she ever have alot of questions. Afterward she said "Mommy, i'm not going to ever do that". Smart Kid! (Dumb Mom I guess).
Anyway maybe soon i'll get back to blogging with some regularity now that my life doesn't feel so topsy-turvy anymore. I haven't been on f@cebook much either.
Been reading alot. It soothes me to sit and read.

**Oh and someone - anyone please come in and do a summer overhaul on my blog look. Puh-Leaze!

~The~Monogram~Queen~

This is Maddie's little boyfriend, Caleb. He lives across the street. He is just precious!!! He brought Maddie a valentine and they were both SO bashful!

She got mad when I wanted to take a picture of her with the frog he gave her. He also gave her a box of candy that said "DRAMA QUEEN" on it. Lord, the boy already has her pegged!

These are some of MY Valentine spoils ... to the left is the new 2010 Mark Roberts fairy "Be My Valentine" - I love love LOVE his fairies. I only like the small ones (and good thing because they are a little expensive). They don't sell them in Florence so we have to get them at the Beach or Columbia usually. He also got me an "Easter Bunny "fairy and "I love Mom" fairy. He surprised me Valentines morning with the cute stuffed bear and big box of Russel Stover candy. I 'made' the monkey along with the girls. I always wanted to do it but felt foolish buying one for myself. Stacy said "Go ahead, i'll buy you one" - so I did! Isn't he just the best?

The girls built this little snowman outside Tomlinson's while I shopped. Theirs is SO much better than the one in Florence - and it's open every Saturday.
I think the girls did a good job on the snowman!

Something you DEFINITELY don't see every day - real snow on Palm Trees!

Snowy beach - something i've always wanted to see - and now I have!

We were on the top deck of the parking garage (covered thankfully) but had to go down this open ramp, see the icy snow? I would have NEVER attempted this but Stacy did a great job!

Venturing out to find some breakfast, there was quite a bit of traffic but it wasn't the usual mad rush, people were a little cautious.

I had a wonderful valentines day - Stacy is my valentine 24/7 365 days a year!

Just a quick post to let you all know i'm doing okay.
It's not easy, really a moment by moment thing. I can be okay, and then suddenly 'she's gone and you'll never see or talk to her again on this earth' will slap me in the face.
Everyone has losses. I realize that but this one, this is the 'big one' for me.
I talked to my Mamma about everything. I used to cry just THINKING about her dying and now it has happened and I just don't know what to do?
It breaks my heart when I talk to my Dad because I can tell, he's trying to be brave and soldier on but he's as bewildered as I am.
It just seems unreal....... like someone is going to wake me up ....
or that she is just away somewhere and will be back soon.
My sisters and I are going through some of her things this week-end. I am truly dreading that. Dad is going to keep the house as is, because it's 'home' and I don't blame him there. But we have to go through her jewelry, shoes, clothes, accessories.
I can't wear any of her shoes and clothes but I am going to keep the monogrammed sweatshirt I had made for her for Christmas some years ago because she loved it and wore it all the time. Also if no one else claims it i'm getting her leopard coat, maybe I can have it altered down to fit. I can't let that go to a stranger.
So anyway this is my update.
Thank you all for the continued prayers and kind words. It means alot!
I know with time, and love and patience of Stacy and my family I will be okay.

Here is the beautiful plant you guys sent, Thank you so much Bella - I love it. I found out it's a Peace Lily and the white lily is just about to bloom. I look at that bloom as 'hope'

In this day and age, people still take a moment to say they are sorry, to tell you they care and are thinking of you, to send a card or plant or food ....
I am overwhelmed with all of the love and prayers from you all.
Saturday was a bad day for me and my sister Bonnie too. We just kept thinking that last Saturday Mom went to the ER and we never, ever dreamed it would end like this.
Tomorrow (i'm writing this on Sunday night) will be bad too, i'm afraid but i'm going to do some things with my Dad and Bonnie and hopefully it won't be so bad after all.
I know our minds will be on last Monday but hopefully we won't let that rule the day. I know, life goes on and time heals all hurt.
I just wish it would do it a little bit faster.........

On a lighter note, here is a pic Maddie took of me in the ER when we took Mom in and of course had to wait and wait and wait.
She braided my hair (hello?- Swiss Miss is calling - she wants her hair back)

Here is a great one I took of Maddie and my Dad. They are buddies, both full of the devil! LOL


Madison took this picture of (clockwise)Buffy, Miss Hazel, April, Stacy and Me before we went to the funeral. I think she did a very good job.
Don't let that smile fool you, as soon as my MIL came in and hugged me, I broke down crying and I told her she was the only Mamma I have now and she said "You've always been my daughter too". I am so lucky to have her and all of my family. I couldn't ask for any better. My sisters-in-law were right there for me too. They brought food and all kinds of stuff to my Dad's house. People's kindness really really touched me.

Just wanted to touch base and first off say THANK YOU for the beautiful plant sent to me by my "blogger buddies".
I have to confess ignorance when it comes to most flowers and plants names but I will find out how to care for it! It is still at my Dad's but I will bring it to it's forever home tomorrow.
There was SO much going on today, it was unreal.
Just when I think people suck, I get a reminder from God that it's just not so.
The outpouring of love, prayer and kindness has just been overwhelming not just for me but for my whole family.
Monday was just - a nightmare.
I don't mind sharing because really, it's cathartic for me to talk about it.
My Mom was diagnosed with pneumonia last week.
She was home on antibiotics all week and on Saturday morning my sister called me and said they were taking Mom by ambulance to Carolina Pines Hospital over here in Hartsville, which is where Madison was born, ironically.
I was like "WTF?" because for my Mother to go in an ambulance, it's serious.
She did NOT like fanfare or attention. At all.
Stacy, Maddie & I raced over there and got there at the exact same time they did.
We sat in the waiting room of the ER with my Dad and two sisters, Kathy & Bonnie.
Finally we were able to go back and see her.
She was comfortable, with oxygen in her nose and doing better.
She had gotten short of breath at the house and just could not catch her breath. Scary.
We knew they would be admitting her but it would be awhile as the hospital was at capacity.
We went home and later on I went back up by myself so Dad could go home and get some stuff that was needed by her. Mom did NOT want to be left alone at all.
I was glad to be there.
While I was there she was assigned a room so I went with the orderly and they got her moved to the bed.
When Dad got there he asked the nurse if he could get a blanket because Mom was not staying by herself. They got him a cot (bed really, it had a thick mattress and the nurse made it up all comfy with two pillows etc.). They REALLY went out of their way and Mom was very happy and so was he.
They had a rough night but me, Stac & Mad went back on Sunday.
Madison was a little scared of Mom with the oxygen mask on (she had to have the face mask now) and everything else hooked up to her, but it didn't take her long to make her way over and start talking to her and asking questions.
We took her a vase of roses and she loved it, she loves roses.
We stayed quite awhile and i'm so glad we did.
Stacy is, especially also as that was his last time seeing her.
Her doctor came in on Sunday and was concerned she wasn't responding to treatment so they were calling in a Lung Specialist the next day (Monday).
She could not even FEED HERSELF, she just could not breathe and any exertion worsened it.
My sisters and I talked and we agreed that someone needed to be there to talk to the Specialist and ask questions etc because neither Mom nor Dad say a word.
They also can't half remember what the doctor said either. Not going to cut it.
So... my sister Bonnie was going to be there (she doesn't work) and she really wanted some back-up too in case there were some decisions to be made etc.
Sometimes we have to gang up on Pop :) (what everyone calls my Dad).
I wrestled a little bit because I have missed a good bit of work lately with mine and Madison's health issues but in the end decided to follow my instincts and be there with my sister. Boy i'm glad I did.

Stacy (God Bless him, he is the best) got Maddie dressed and off to school and I was ready even before 7a.m. when Bonnie came. (my family likes to kid me that i'd be late for my own funeral - and YES I was late for Mom's) :P
Anyway we got there and were talking to Mom and Dad.
She had a pretty good night and was in good spirits.
Dad left to go home and take a shower and do some stuff and we spent all morning with Mom and had a good time talking.
The nurse told Mom the doctor wanted her to start PT (physical therapy) by moving from the bed to a recliner chair.
She was eager to do it, as she had not been out of the bed since Saturday.
She did well moving to the recliner, sat in it for about two hours, ate lunch.
Dad came back when she just finished her lunch and they were going to move her from the chair back to the bed.
We stepped out while they did and when we came back in she struggling for breath. Dad told the nurse and she said it was to be expected because of the exertion but after a few moments we said "No, this is something more we want someone in here NOW".
She called in the resperitory specialist and when he saw the shape she was in all hell broke loose.
Bonnie and I backed into the corner and I saw Dad over her and heard him say "Don't leave me, Don't leave me", me and Bonnie burst into tears - we were confused and scared and I looked at Mom and I said "Bonnie - her lips are turning blue" and then one of the techs said we had to leave and as we walked to the end of the hallway Dad said "She was gone".
We were like "No, what are you talking about? She'll be okay they just have to get her breathing regulated".
We huddled together crying (I can count on one hand how many times I have saw my father cry with several fingers to spare) and the resp. tech. came out and said "They are working on her, just keep praying" so we did.
After what seemed an hour but was in reality only a short few minutes a nurse came down and said why didn't we go down to the family waiting room until the Doctor came in. Dad said "This doesn't sound good".
I called our other sister Kathy and my brother who both live here and told them to come up to the Hospital right away. Dad called my Mom's baby brother and told him the same. Then Doctor "A" came in, he got down on one knee and said "I'm so sorry".
That is the moment my whole world stood absolutely still.
My Father gasped and Bonnie and I started crying softly.
We were just staring at each other, I don't know what my face looked like but theirs both looked like they had just been hit - very hard. They looked stunned. There were no hysterics.
The poor Doctor, he stammered and tried to compose himself (I have NEVER saw a doctor lose their composure and i'm not saying this as a bad reflection on him at all, please bear that in mind).
Even though I was reeling from the shock I will never, ever forget that man's face and I will never forget his exact words.
He said "I don't, I don't understand what happened.
I did not expect this.
She seemed to be better earlier and did so well with her PT".
Bonnie said she thought Mom had congestive heart failure and he said he could state absolutely it was not that.
Her fluid levels were actually better today.
He said they had gotten her breathing regulated but then her heart stopped.
They worked on her for about a half hour before he knew it was no use.
He said it was either a blood clot or a heart attack. She didn't have a history of coronary problems but honestly, I do believe it was a heart attack.
Her Mother (My beloved Gram) died of a heart attack at the exact same age and about the same time of day. Isn't that weird?
We thanked him, because we knew he had done all he could, it was simply her time to go.
As he was walking away my sister Kathy stepped off the elevator and said "What's going on is Mom worse?" and Dad said "Mom didn't make it" and poor Kathy just went down on her knees. OMG I am crying as I type this but it's a good cry. Healing tears.
I know this.
She was saying "I knew I should have come today, I knew I should have come" and we said "No, none of us had ANY idea this would happen".
I am SO.VERY.GRATEFUL that I did take the time from work and spend my Mamma's last day with her.
I told her I loved her several times (something I do because I am known as the loving, tenderhearted one in the family and those of you who know my bitchy sarcastic side quit laughing!)
My Uncle came in and he broke down when Dad told him the sad news. He was also disbelieving.
It was like a slow moving nightmare. Every person we told just pulled away or resisted the words. It was just too unreal - couldn't happen.
Heck I felt the same way and I experienced it.
Still as I sit here it is unbelievable to me that I can't call my Mamma on the phone and tell her about the beautiful plant y'all sent and ask her how to care for it.
I told her everything - she was my confidant, she was my cheerleader, my sounding board for my rotten work situation, she ran interference with my Dad when needed
(i.e. give the baby whatever it is she wants - yes even at 43 I was definitely still her baby). She had told the new nurse that came on shift Monday morning that I was 'her baby'. I am proud to have been and always WILL be her baby.
I will miss her for the rest of my life, and just like my father-in-law grieve especially because Madison will never really get to know two of her wonderful grandparents.
But............she is lucky because she loves my Dad and he loves her. You all know how she is the moon and the stars to Stacy's Mom. I told her yesterday when they came for the funeral that she was the only Mom I have left here with me now and it's true. But I am truly blessed, for having been my Mother's daughter, for having the wonderful, wonderful family and friends to help me through this.
My family has really pulled together and my Dad said he is so proud and that makes my heart soar with joy
........................ even as it is breaking.

Hi Everyone, Bella here, hijacking.

I received a sad text from Patti tonight, she lost her mother. I know she was in the hospital for pneumonia and that was the last I heard.

If you are interested in donating for flowers and a gift for the family (I'm thinking of sending Patti one of the willow t*rees, the remembrance angel), please let me know - bella lou who at gmail dot com and I will send you my paypal information. If you do decide to donate and want any updates on what is collected and how it is spent I will be happy to provide you with that information.

Also, if you are interested in sending a card again, please e-mail me and I will give you my address and get all of the cards to Patti and her family (I don't feel comfortable giving out her address.)

Patti, I know you're reading this and shaking your head at what I wrote above, we are wanting to send something to you because we love you.

We are sending you and your family big huge hugs in this time of sorrow. Please keep Patti and her family in your thoughts.

Wednesday after Christmas we decided to take a short trip to Hendersonville, NC as it has been awhile since the three of us have went away together.
It was a 3 1/2 hour drive to Hendersonville from Florence. A very pleasant one as it was striclty I-20 and I-26 all the way!
Maddie caught a nap (as she always does in the car!)
The ever present "Boy" snoozed with her too. Won't this make a terrific blackmail picture when she's older Ha! Ha!

When we got to our Hotel they HAD some snow, Maddie had to pick up some of it.
I know, she doesn't have on a coat and it WAS cold, however she just got out of the car and ran to the snow. We were going from the car straight inside and she never wears a coat in the car. My sister sent me a text immediately bawling me out for her not having on a coat(as I had put this on f@cebook too!)

We left the hotel to get some dinner and when we came outside it was snowing like CRAZY! Madison was SO excited!!! She was trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue.
I decreed from now on a coat was to be worn no matter what or my sister was going to kill me!

The short ride over the mountain from our Hotel had some beautiful scenery and winding snow roads! We loved it!

We were headed to "Moonshine Mountain" to go snow tubing! Here are the runs and someone had built an abominable snow man up there! Cool!

Maddie riding the lift up, they attach your tube to a pulley and it pulls you up the mountain OR you can walk but no way in !@#$% was I hiking up that mountain over and over. I noticed once I saw a person doing it they were in line for the lift next time around LOL

Me & Maddie in line, beside the pit fire. We had maybe a 5 minute wait before getting on the lift again. It was truly awesome. I didn't get to take any pictures from the top because you had to keep moving and on the way down - FORGET IT! We FLEW down so fast I had to hold on!
One time we went to the highest run and the guy informed us we had to go seperately - boom - down goes Stacy. Before I could even get my wits together, worried about Maddie, the guy said "she'll be fine" and shoves me and off I go. Holy Heck that run scared the BEJESUS out of me. You start down and then hit a rise and I SWEAR it was a SHEER drop down. I screamed like a fool, I was sure I was going to tumble right out of the tube but I didn't.
When I got to the bottom Stacy was trying to signal the guy NOT to send Madison down when - Whoosh - here she comes. I was praying my baby wouldn't fall out or get hurt and she looked absolutely petrified when she got close enought for us to see her little face. She made it fine though.
She was a little shaken, and said she did NOT want to do that run again.
I didnt' either! So we stuck to the middle one which was plenty fast believe me!

After tubing we went back to downtown Hendersonville to get something to eat.
Maddie picked this place (because she liked the idea of it being downstairs)

Actually the food was wonderful! I had boiled shrimp and some gumbo which came with french bread. OMG delicious!! We ate like pigs!

It really was an awesome trip. We spent two nights, and Madison swam in the pool both evenings. Stacy was a good sport and got in with her.
It was just so nice to be away, having fun together as a family.
I hope we can do it again - soon!