To: The numerous women around Crying Cow Bank who have "cankles" please for the love of pete stop wearing kitten heels on those hooves.

To: "W A" in partial releases. Jerry Garcia called - he wants his hair back.

To: Asschips, no need to get all pissy just because someone called your brand new Dodge Magnum a "station wagon". Bwaa haa haaaaaa..........

To Blondie Poo with the $900 doggie who was a "cwismas pwesent". You shouldn't even be a pet owner. Your dog is not a possession it is a real animal with feelings. Ugh. I could happily dip you in a vat of boiling oil.

To: My Off-Spring: If you don't get off this "Daddy Do It" kick I am going to sell you to passing gypsies. Seriously. Daddy was not in labor with you for twelve hours nor did he birth 7+ lb you out of an opening the size of a walnut. A little gratitude would be nice.

I think that will do for now. Ahhhhh I feel better just letting it out! Carry on.