To the mouth-breathing, waddling, ass-kissing bitch who is passive/aggressively training (I use this term loosely) me on one of your job functions. Please know that I am totally ON to you. Nice in front of boss, snarky when we're alone. I'd stomp a mudhole in your ass - except it might actually be an improvement.

To My Boss: We have known each other for almost 20 years and I never really realized what a narcissistic asshole you are. Wonders never cease! How your wonderful SO Tim puts up with you, is a mystery to many.

To My Precious Momma. I worry about you. I know you have health problems but you have GOT to stop wallowing in self pity. It's not healthy. It's not good for you. I miss the strong woman who kicked breast cancer's ass - twice. Where did she go??? How can I get her back???

To someone who I will not mention out of fear that someone close to you may read my blog. You think you are the smartest thing to ever walk this earth. She thinks you are sexy and handsome. You are both out of your m-f-ing minds. You are the most boring, egotistical, misogynistic man I have ever met and trust me, whether she admits it or not she was just looking for security but she bit off more than she can chew now. I hope she wises up and dumps your ass - and soon.
P.S. The way you try to grab me hugging and trying to kiss me makes me want to HURL. I wish one day I would hurl - directly on you. You are creepy.

Whew that felt better getting all of that negative crap out! Nothing like a good PSA once in awhile huh guys?